What happens If INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100

Year : 2050

Place : IBM , USA
(Two Americans Talking)

Currency Conversion Rate : INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100

Alex: Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?

John: Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.

Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.

John: Yeah, but I managed to get it.

Alex: How long it took to get it stamped?

John: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and they played with him like anything. That's why it got delayed. I went there at 2 AM itself and waited and returned by 4 PM .

Alex: Really? In India , it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA

John: Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming to USA man, their economy has been booming.

Alex: So, when are you leaving?

John: Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.

Alex: How long are you going to stay in India .

John: What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India , my company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta .. (green card)

Alex: Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India .

John: Yeah, that's why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.

Alex: But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad , Bangalore and Mumbai.

John: But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured.

Alex: Where did you get the offer, Hyderabad?

John: Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is Rs. 2000/- for a single room accommodation.

Alex: I see, that's too much for US people, Rs.1/- =$100/-. Oh God! What about in Bangalore, Mumbai?

John: No idea, but it is less than what we have in Hyderabad. It is like the world headquarters of software

Alex: I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for help.

John: You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less than Rs.7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.2 ,00,000/- but has got a lovely design.

Alex: By the way, who is your client?

John: Subbarao and Apparao Associates, a pure Indian company, specialising in Embedded Software.

Alex: Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their Fly-by-night outfits in India . Indian companies pay you in full even when you are on bench.

My friend Paul Allen, it seems, used his bench time to visit Bihar, the most liveable place in India , probably world. There you have full freedom and no restrictions. You can do whatever you want! I wonder how that state has perfected that system.

John: Yeah man!, you are right. I hope our Americaalso follows their footsteps.

Alex: How are you going to cope with their language?

John: Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first language here at New York . At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent per cent score in TOHIL I.e. Test of Hindi as International Language.

Alex: So, you are going to have fun there.

John: Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest train, world's largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors like, Hrithik, Shah Rukh Khan and all. Esselworld is also near Bollywood.

Alex: You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year, he may then relax the number of visas.

John: That's true. Last month, Narayana Murthy visited White House and donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure development at aSiliconValleyand has promised more if we follow the model of High-Tech City of Bangalore . Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky person.

Alex: But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy's Infosys.

John: He is a hard worker man, he can build any number of Infosys like this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all his money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto.

Alex: OK, Good Luck John.

John: Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a "Kurta Pyjama" because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will never come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected. But don't forget to say " Namaste, aap kaise hai " to the Visa officer at Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don't greet him that way.

Poor Bob

Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.


His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.


The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,


'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'


BOB's funeral will be on Friday.

Definition of Designation

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.

Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

HR Manager is a person who thinks that...

a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!!

Jokes to Refresh Mind

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .

Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?
Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!

Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega!!!

Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala - I love you.
Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
Santa : I love you Didi!!!!

Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!

Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!

Girl-to-Boy - Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl - Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.

Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
dekh patni ne pati se kaha - Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati - Namaste Sasur Ji

Santa ne Banta se kaha,"Sabse bada challenge kya hai?"
Banta replied - Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.
Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Teacher : Santa batao `M' for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

.

World After 10 Years

Some Like........

This is what courage looks like

This is what intimacy looks like

This is what bad spelling looks like

This is what tired looks like

THIS IS WHAT SORRY LOOKS LIKE

This is what 'good grief!!' looks like

This is what a helping hand looks like

This is what 'I can wait' looks like

This is what a Woman's car looks like

Special India

Boys vs Girls

Rangoli by Girls

Rangoli by Boys

OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,
'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that muchmisery is enough!'
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.
'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'
She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!'
MORAL:
No man / woman is busy in this world all 365 days.
The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.
OFFICE WORK IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE and MONEY MAKING IS NOT EVERYTHING IN LIFE

On 29th Sep 2008, Microsoft started bus service for employees at Bangalore. Employees can start work from the bus itself and their office hours counts from the time they start work in the bus. Traffic jam in Bangalore is quite normal and company do not want to waste the time of the employees in roads.

Biggest road

Biggest Traffic Jam ever

The Law of the Garbage Truck

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly one can get back their focus on what's important. David J. Pollay explains his story in this way.... Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here's what happened. I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean...he was friendly. So, I said, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call,
'The Law of the Garbage Truck.' 'Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did.' I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, 'I'm not going to do it anymore.' Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason.

Poem on Programming

Code Kya Kehta Hai Mera Kya Main Bataoon Tester Samjhega Shayad Main Pagal Hoon Code Kya Kehta Hai Mera Kya Main Bataoon PM samjhega ki Shayad Main genius Hoon
Dil Karta Hai Apni Seat par khada ho Jaoon Chilla Chilla Ke Main Ye Sabse Kehdoon Code On… Hai Ye Client Ka Ishaara Code On… Requirement fullfill kar sara Code On….Onsite Offshore ka tamashaa Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Dil Karta Hai VNET Par Zor Se Gaoon Aur Apne outlook Ki sab log mail Kholen Phir Main Aise Josheelay mails bahaaoon Mere mails Ko padkar Sab Ye samjhen Code On… Hai Ye Company Ka Ishaara Code On… Client ko khush karna hai yaaraa Code On….Late night ruk ja tu Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Jaise Code karne Ko Dil Chahe code kar Waise Tu Meri To Hai Bas Ye Raaye Ki Apne task ko time par Poora Karle Tuuuuuu
Code On… development cycle ka ishara Code On… phases fullfill kar sara Code On….dead lines meet karne ka tension Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…
Code On… Hai Ye Company Ka Ishaara Code On… Client ko khush karna hai yaaraa Code On….Late night ruk ja tu Code On….yehi IT ki zindagi hai mere yaraa…

Something From India

Parable of Pencil

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box. "There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be.""
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand.""
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil.
Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.
And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.
"The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.
Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.
One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.
Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.
Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.
Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.
And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish.Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.

ANGELS

Really nice one....
Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied... "Things aren't always what they seem".

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes this is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You might not know it until some time later.

The Window" (Author unknown)

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour a day to drain the fluids from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed next to the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed would live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the outside world. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake, the man had said. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amid flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. Unexpectedly, an alien thought entered his head: Why should hehave all the pleasure of seeing everything while I never get to see anything? It didn't seem fair. As the thought fermented, the man felt ashamed at first. But as the days passed and he missed seeing more sights, his envy eroded into resentment and soon turned him sour. He began to brood and found himself unable to sleep. He should be by that window - and that thought now controlled his life.
Late one night, as he lay staring at the ceiling, the man by the window began to cough. He was choking on the fluid in his lungs. The other man watched in the dimly lit room as the struggling man by the window groped for the button to call for help. Listening from across the room, he never moved, never pushed his own button which would have brought the nurse running. In less than five minutes, the coughing and choking stopped, along with the sound of breathing. Now, there was only silence--deathly silence.
The following morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths. When she found the lifeless body of the man by the window, she was saddened and called the hospital attendant to take it away--no words, no fuss. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it all himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.
Moral of the story:
The pursuit of happiness is a matter of choice...it is a positive attitude we consciously choose to express. It is not a gift that gets delivered to our doorstep each morning, nor does it come through the window. And I am certain that our circumstances are just a small part of what makes us joyful. If we wait for them to get just right, we will never find lasting joy.
The pursuit of happiness is an inward journey. Our minds are like programs, awaiting the code that will determine behaviors; like bank vaults awaiting our deposits. If we regularly deposit positive, encouraging, and uplifting thoughts, if we continue to bite our lips just before we begin to grumble and complain, if we shoot down that seemingly harmless negative thought as it germinates, we will find that there is much to rejoice about.